


Step One

by MrAudioDrama



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Pining, They're so in love it hurts, Vulnerability, alcohol mention, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22183762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrAudioDrama/pseuds/MrAudioDrama
Summary: It's easy to hide your emotions when you're prepared, but Juno was nothing if not full of surprises, the only lady that could catch Peter off guard. Perhaps he's been too hasty, hiding his emotions. After all, everything begins with a first step.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 181





	Step One

Peter Nureyev was dying. Not in the literal sense, but with every moment Juno’s shine steals his breath away. There’s a wound on his heart, and he resents its capacity to heal. He can see that Juno’s changed, that his apology was sincere. The glow in his eye, the singular eye missing its pair because Peter wasn’t quick enough to retrieve the pill for Miasma, forced Peter’s heart to do flips. Peter Nureyev felt like he was withering away, and he refused to do anything to fix it. 

Moments alone on the Carte Blanche were fleeting, crew members flitted about constantly throughout the day. It wouldn’t exactly be pleasant were one of them to get cabin fever miles and miles above any planet’s surface. Yet, for some reason, Peter and Juno were increasingly finding themselves in the same room with not another crew member in sight. Juno had his theories about where Rita was hiding during these encounters, but he figured he should just make the best of it before they find themselves locked in a room together.

The tension between them was palpable, and they both knew it. Peter’s heart ached to forgive Juno completely, but his mind panicked whenever the opportunity arose. He knew Juno understood this, given the way the lady carried himself around _Ransom._ He still pushed for more talks; more time spent merely talking. Pretending like nothing was wrong was a tactic that Juno had decidedly tossed out before boarding the Carte Blanche, and it was a thorn in Peter’s side.

Hearing Juno say “Nureyev” was what kept him agreeing to sit down and just talk with Juno. It was perhaps the most precious sound he’d ever heard, and his heart felt increasingly warm and safe when it was just the two of them talking. These talks had never happened in the wild, they were always planned. Peter preferred it that way, he could keep control of his heart if he knew when it had to be done. So, Juno approaching him in the kitchen this morning was completely unwelcome.

“Hey Ransom, sleep well?” Juno’s voice was groggy with exhaustion, and Peter’s heart nearly burst at the sight of Juno rubbing at his eye. There was somewhere deep in the back of Peter’s mind that knew part of the reason he stayed on this ship was for moments like these. This new Juno, with soft edges and kinder words, was someone intriguing, someone unexplored, someone Peter desperately wanted to get to know. His heart leaped as he moved through the kitchen to face Juno.

“Splendid, dear Detective. And how, might I ask, was yours?” A mask of confidence shielded his words, but he’s finding that Juno might be one of the hardest ladies to trick in the universe. This was an olive branch, extended towards the one-eyed goddess. A first step, towards what Peter was hoping would be a grand staircase. He would go over this interaction for hours later when he had settled in for the night, analyze every word, berate himself for engaging in conversation so early. But there would be a part of him still, that believed it was worth it. Part of him that saw just how much better off Juno was now, could see that the Juno Steel that had left him alone all that time ago would have crumbled to dust off of Mars.

“I’ve had better if we’re being honest” Juno grumbled, but there was a shine in his eye now. A recognition of what Peter’s response had truly meant. A vulnerability that only Peter was privy to. The statement hung in the air, as Juno moved about the kitchen towards the coffee machine. Juno had given him a choice, the opportunity to ask and be rewarded with a response. A test of boundaries, he supposed. Juno still had bad days, Peter knew, on days he would skip their talks and try to start a fight with the first crew member he saw. Rita took control on those days; she didn’t coddle him like Peter had assumed she would. She made him _think_ about why he was acting out. She made sure to tell him he was being a brat, didn’t cut corners to make sure his feelings weren’t hurt. He was still snippy, but this Juno Steel _apologized_ when he cut too deep. Peter found these facts freezing him in place, analyzing the outcomes of every response he could give.

Rita’s words echoed in his head, “Get outta your head Mistah Steel!” and suddenly Peter was facing Juno again.

“Is everything alright?” ~~Nureyev,~~ no, Peter asked before he had the time to think. Concern had fought its way through, and upon further examination Peter could see that Juno’s exhaustion translated more into defeated sadness. The look in his eye was distant, the energy that normally exuded from the detective was subdued. Juno wasn’t acting as if it was a bad day, but it was clear as day that that’s what it was. His movements were sluggish, tired, in a way Peter had never seen. Not even when he was returned from Miasma’s clutches and into the thief’s arms at the end of the day. He wanted to know Juno Steel, in his slumps as well as his highs.

The coffee maker whirred to life as Juno turned to face him, “Just a nightmare, I guess, nothing I won’t be able to shake in a few hours” his eyes were downcast, his hands bunched in the fabric of his too-big shirt that he insisted was perfect for sleeping. This was a different sort of bad day, and as much as it seemed Juno might prefer him to file it away, Peter wasn’t sure he wanted to. He was certain Juno would talk to him but was it his right to push? Juno sighed, breaking the train of thought, and reached for his finished coffee. He didn’t take a sip from it though, lightly setting it on the table and reaching up towards the whiskey.

Being a thief had its advantages. One of them being the ability to swipe a bottle of whiskey effortlessly out of the hands of an emotionally exhausted Juno Steel, who he didn’t want to see drunken away without resolution. To be completely honest, Peter’s not sure if he meant to do it. He stared at the whiskey in his hand and sighed. This is exactly why he prefers being ready for a talk with Juno. A disciplined Peter Ransom would never act so recklessly.

Juno’s eye was wide, staring at his empty hand, “Didn’t realize you liked Whiskey so much,” his protest was weak, hand slowly dropping down to his side. There were a lot of words Peter could use to describe the look on Juno’s face when he met his eye. But none of them would accurately describe the wave of emotions it released in himself. Peter Nureyev was suddenly present, in a way he hadn’t been since their first talk, all because of a single teary eye burning into his soul.

Perhaps he hadn’t been as good at guarding his emotions during their talks as he’d led himself to believe, “It’s not the Whiskey I’m worried about right now Juno” his voice remained steady, but it felt like weeks of ignored emotions had exploded all at once. Peter Nureyev _loved_ Juno Steel and no amount of self-discipline and convinced apathy was going to change that. He couldn’t stand by when Juno was hurting, he couldn’t sit back and watch this vulnerable Juno Steel hide behind whiskey until he skipped their talk of the night to sulk alone in his room.

The tears building up in Juno’s eyes spilled over at that, some leaking through under his loosely tied eyepatch. He huffed a laugh, “An awful shitty time to suddenly get emotional on me, Ransom” but despite the laugh, the tears didn’t stop making their way down his cheeks. Nureyev had never seen Juno cry like this. He’d seen some tears of petulance, perhaps dampness on his eye during a few of their talks, but never so steadily and heavily. It was clear the tears were stinging his eye, given his rapid-fire blinking and the rapidity with which Nureyev watched him wipe them away.

“There’s no need to call me that when there’s no one else around Juno” Nureyev’s voice went soft, “I gave you a gift, and I have no intention of taking it back” he watched Juno’s eyes widen at the statement until his stream of tears looked more like a river, and he forced his eye away from the thief.

“Okay, Nureyev,” Juno’s voice catches briefly on a light sob, before he takes a hesitant step forward. He didn’t allow himself many comforts on Mars that weren’t some form of alcohol, and it was hard to find new ones on the Carte Blanche. Watching streams with Rita, watching Jet work, and talking to Nureyev was pretty much all he had. Now, however, with Peter reaching forward to pull him into a hug, a new one may have risen to the top of the list.

Nureyev leads him in gently, allowing Juno’s hands to bunch into the fabric of his top, and securing his arms around Juno’s back. He presses his head into Juno’s hair, letting out a light stream of shushes and rubbing his hands up and down his back. It’s slightly suspicious that no one had followed the rather loud sound of Juno’s sobbing into the kitchen, but Nureyev was glad for it. Emotional vulnerability didn’t come easy to the detective, and he knows how quickly Juno can retract.

It takes a few minutes for the lady to calm down enough to speak, “I don’t know if I can talk about it yet,” he manages, “You deserve more than that after what I just did, but I just, god damn it, I don’t know if I can do it” his voice cracked through the sentence until he broke down into sobs once more. All Nureyev could do was press kisses into his hair and rub his back.

“You don’t have to talk about it, Juno,” Nureyev whispered, “Not right now,” slowly pulling back to look the lady in his eye, “For now, we can go back to my room, away from any prying eyes, and you can work yourself through it alright? I’ve got you, my dear detective” Juno gave a quick nod, and sniffled his way to Peter’s room. The moment the door shut; he had attached himself to Nureyev once more.  
  
Juno had been nothing but patient with Peter’s emotional constipation for the last few months, he realized now. Juno didn’t have to talk about this today, it was enough to let him be there to hold him through the tears. Juno needed that same patience now, and Nureyev was going to give it to him. This was, after all, only step one. For now, the thief and the detective would hide away from the crew. Two people, the unlikeliest of matches, holding each other through a storm of emotions. They would get through this together.

No one asked where they’d been at the family meeting, and Nureyev had his suspicions as to why. He keeps them to himself though and lets them warm his heart and the thought of this crew, his _family,_ caring enough to let things rest. The staircase he was building with Juno was larger than he’d expected but Peter Nureyev was newly awakened, and he wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

Peter Nureyev wasn't dying, not anymore. He was changing, and it wasn't as scary as he thought it was going to be. Juno Steel reminded him who Peter Nureyev was, he'd brought him back to life. The wound in his heart was healing, and he was allowed to acknowledge it. It was something to be celebrated, not shoved down and ignored. Peter Nureyev loved Juno Steel, and it's about time he did something about it.


End file.
